They say “never judge a book by its cover”, and I had been guilty of this for a very long time. I often tell the story of how my kids started attending an independent school, and it was seeing it from the “inside” that made all the difference. I had been a part of my current school’s community for a long time as the sister of an employee. My brother and I never went to an independent school and we both obtained our degrees and diplomas from public schools from Kindergarten all the way up through completion of our undergraduate studies. So, when he was hired as a coach and teacher for one of the largest independent schools in the continental United States, I was very impressed (and to be honest, intimidated) by his position.
As the children of a retired coach, we knew the fall ritual of being under the Friday Night Lights and the spring routine of all-day track meets, and I often went to my brother’s games and track meets to support him in his coaching efforts. As a fan in the stadium, or at the track, I wore the gear and was super proud of him, but always felt like the school was “larger than life” and stood on a pedestal—out of my reach. At one point in my career, I even had the distinct privilege of recruiting some of the faculty and staff to obtain their Masters and Doctorate degrees from the graduate school I was working for, but I was still on the “outside”. My brother would often say, “you should come over here, maybe get a teaching job—it’s a great place”, but I never felt “good enough” because of the perception that I held in my mind about the school’s prestigious status.
Even when my oldest son was ready to start thinking about where he would go for high school, I figured I would let him go so that he could be there with his uncle and that my other three children would “be alright” in their respective public schools. The school was expensive and it was a struggle trying to figure out how we were going to make it work, which made it an easy choice to keep the others where they were. He didn’t get accepted the first year, but he really wanted to attend and vowed to work hard to improve his grades and test scores for the following year’s admissions cycle. Shortly after the decision, one of my brother’s friends (whose daughter was attending school there at the time) reached out to me and told me that I should apply for a job in admissions. Despite my apprehensions, I applied and to my surprise, I was a finalist for the position. I was not hired, but held no ill feelings as I felt that it was just not meant to be. I was convinced that my thoughts were right all along and that I was not “good enough” to work there in the same way that my son’s academic performance didn’t meet their high standards of excellence.
My son upheld his promise and improved his academic performance, and he was accepted the next year. Unfortunately, it was the year of the Covid-19 shutdown which posed many challenges in itself, but he was able to overcome due to the careful strategies implemented by the school to keep its community safe while still fostering academic excellence. The school year was off to a good start and he was adjusting as well as he could under the circumstances. It was not easy for him, but he was learning to navigate his new environment well. With all of the Covid protocols in place, I only had a glimpse of what school was like for him and didn’t have a true feel of what the community was like. All I knew is that my son seemed to be doing well and was enjoying his experience.
Then I got a phone call that completely changed my perceptions—and my life—for the better. Another admissions position had opened and I was asked if I would be interested in applying for the job. I was in shock. All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind: Me? Could I really fit in that environment? Could I live up to the high expectations? Could I really be someone who would do well in the position?
Well, I must have done something right, because they hired me. All I knew of the school itself was that it had an excellent reputation, graduates went on to become really successful, and that from the outside looking in, it was beautiful—like the rooftops sparkled under the sunlight and even the grounds upon which I walked could have been paved with gold. I didn’t know if I was cut out to serve as a representative of such a prestigious independent institution, but what I did know is that I wanted to do and be my very best with hopes that I would be good enough.
I learned that it wasn’t the bells and whistles that made our school so amazing (though they are a sweet layer of icing on the cake), but that it is the people that keeps it elevated to the highest level of excellence. The proverbial veil was lifted from my eyes when I was introduced to the school from the inside. I was given a full tour of the school, from Pre-K all the way up through our Upper School division. Students seemed happy and were being nurtured while being held to high standards by their teachers, who also seemed to enjoy their jobs. I was in complete and utter shock to learn that this place was not so high and mighty as I had viewed it, but that it was very down to earth and a place where I truly belonged.
As an employee, I also felt valued. My bosses and colleagues showed me that they were genuinely concerned about me as a person, even after only working there for a short period of time. The entire community is one that fully embraced me and gave me a sense of pride in myself that I had not felt in a very long time. It was the people—warm, welcoming, and kind—that helped me see that despite the fine facilities and high academic standards, at our core, we are a place where people are cared about and treated with respect. We are a place where there is a balance between rigor and relaxation. We are a place in which anyone who desires to do well can thrive, regardless of their background and/or previous experiences. We are a place in which myself and all four of my children have found our place and in it, we have found success.
This was something that I couldn’t truly experience as a screaming football fanatic on a Friday night or hanging around the tent at a track meet. I needed to be on the inside--meet the people, see the children, feel the vibe—to know what kind of place this truly was. I would have never expected that this would be how I would come to see and experience my school, but I now relish in the joy of giving tours. With every encounter with a prospective family, I have the opportunity to show them what an amazing place my school is. I sometimes hear people speak in the same way that I used to think about my school and I tell them that you really can’t know it until or unless you take the time to see it from the inside. As an admissions counselor, this is an open door to invite them in. When families spend their time with me, I facilitate an interaction that allows them to feel like they too belong. I provide them with an extension of what the school is like and help them to see for themselves all of the extraordinary experiences that could be afforded to them by being a part of our community. So now, whenever the opportunity presents itself, I simply say, “Set up a tour. Bring your family. Come see me.”
Alida Davis Abdullah
Admissions Counselor
Woodward Academy